To Pacify or not to Pacify

When you decide to have children, are expecting or already have them, you have thoughts, opinions, decisions to make on what you're going to do or not do with your children. Whether it's to breastfeed, use cloth diapers, make your own baby food, not allow your children to sleep in your bed, or never use your wet finger to wipe your child's face, we hope to follow through with the decisions we make.  Of those listed, we've managed to stick to them. Well, I may have used a wet finger to clean my child's face in a pinch. (Don't tell Andrew).

Another decision we made was to not use a pacifier. Both my husband and I didn't want our children using pacifiers. We didn't like seeing kids with a pacifier in their mouths, especially older kids. We thought, we don't need a pacifier.

When Charlotte was born, I breastfed. I found after a month or so, I seemed to be constantly feeding her as when she cried she'd cry as if the world was ending.  She wasn't tired, she wasn't wet, so she must be hungry right? But I had just fed her a little bit before, could she be hungry again? We decided then that maybe she was just looking for something to suck. Not wanting to be a human pacifier, we decided to try a pacifier. Every time I put it in her mouth I hated it. I felt I needed to justify it to everyone. In the nighttime, we'd use it to help her  get to sleep. Once she was asleep, I'd take it out. I didn't want her getting used to it.

Within a week or two of us using it, she started to spit it out. She didn't want it. What a relief. But then, she found her thumb. And never lost it. Charlotte sucks her thumb now, especially when she's upset. She's an emotional sucker.

When Harrison was born, we again didn't want to use the pacifier. We got away with it for awhile but then the same thing happened. He always seemed to be hungry when I really didn't think he was. I found I was feeding him more than I should be and he often fell asleep or spit up the liquid gold soon after feeding. While a little spit up is normal, I think it's often a sign that he's full and has eaten too much. Of course, if you have food shoved in your mouth constantly, you'll eventually spit it up too.

So, we bought a pacifier. It worked. Harrison started to settle a little easier and I wasn't being used as a human pacifier. He too seems to be an emotional sucker. When he gets upset, or is over tired, the sucking action calms him down and off he goes. Do I like using it? No, but it does make life a hell of a lot easier. Especially when you also have a three year old vying for your attention.

So, we use the pacifier to help him get to sleep but I do still take it away once he is. We have, however, started to put it in his mouth when he wakes in the night or during a nap. It helps him sleep longer. He wakes once in the night and I feed him. A couple of weeks ago, I found that he was waking about 4pm and not really feeding for very long. I wondered if he really needed it as he had gone all night once or twice. So, I started leaving him a little and if he really started to cry, I put the pacifier in his mouth. I felt guilty doing it at first. But it worked. He slept all the way through. Now, this week, we're back to feeding when he wakes up. Growing spurt I believe. The pacifier isn't pacifying him. So, I'll continue to feed until he starts to sleep through the night again or I'll use the pacifier if necessary. Of course, every week, every day even is different, so who knows.

So, while I still sometimes have to justify the pacifier to myself, I know I'm doing what is best for Harrison and that's all that matters. He's happier and sleeps better which means we're all sleeping better.  I don't worry (or try not to worry) about what others think when they see him with a pacifier in his mouth. I just know it means he's not crying so we're all happy. And when we don't think he needs it anymore, we can throw it out. Unlike a thumb.

A Happy Harrison